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Families Matter in Recovery

June 24, 2021 By Nick Leave a Comment

Dealing with families and addiction can often be one the most complicated pieces to your recovery. Your family  has likely had a huge impact on your substance use disorder or disease of addiction both good and bad. A person’s family involvement may have been the cause of addiction, while others have those who are there and rooting for their success. Most of you likely have members on both sides of the spectrum. There are different approaches and family programs to those who are supporting you through this process and those who may be hindering your success.

At Live Rehab, we use a holistic approach to addiction and recovery which means focusing on family relationships is a priority in our program. 

The Concept of Family

You don’t get to pick and choose who you’re related to or what family you belong. With that being said, you do need to recognize the different approaches you may take with each and every family member you have. 

There’s a specific bond that most people have with certain family members – these bonds are unique in that even when the relationships are put through the wringer the desire to repair and continue a strong healthy relationship is always there. 

You may not know where everyone stands and the nature of those relationships may come with a lot of gray areas as you start to think about them but just know that while you are taking care of yourself, you might need to make some hard choices in order to protect your sobriety. Sometimes it’s hard to spot certain characteristics or behaviors in the midst of addiction but once you start your recovery you will start to see things in a very sobering way. These choices can range from taking a break from toxic family members to owning up to your mistakes with those who love and support you – neither are easy.

There is a strong relationship between family and the success of your recovery. 

How to recognise good behaviors

Recognizing good family can often be clouded. Maybe while you were addicted your family cut you off or didn’t agree to enable. That doesn’t mean that their love for you was any less – it just means that their love was so strong that they couldn’t continue to watch your destructiveness. 

What I want you to do today, is to make a list of those who have been there for you through all this – emotionally, physically, etc. Don’t confuse this though with not enabling. This should be a list of those who you want to make amends with, those who you know would be there for you through thick and thin.

Once you’ve made this list, start working on repairing relationships. The easiest way to start the conversation is to send a text – let them know that you appreciate everything they’ve ever done for you and if they know about your addiction you can let them know that you’re working hard on your recovery. From there – see where the conversations take you. 

It won’t be easy but it’s a start. You do have to be prepared for people to be suspicious of your trust and that’s okay! Repairing relationships doesn’t happen over night. Some family members may want to see you in action – and this takes time.

For now, just send the text. 

How to recognise abuse and toxicity

Let’s now talk about those who are “not so good” and when I say not so good I’m talking about not so good for you. Not saying they’re not good people because that would a little disingenuous for me to presume. Millions of family members struggle a lot with this and part of this is how the definitions of family abuse and dynamics of family can be quite subjective as there are lots of things to consider such as genetics or environmental factors. 

What I am talking about though is that some of you may have family relationships that have put so much pressure and strain in your life that it causes you to have poor emotional health and continue to want to use or partake in your addiction. Maybe you have suffered child abuse or trauma as a child and not had a chance to work through that.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA, states: Research has shown that traumatic experiences are associated with both behavioral health and chronic physical health conditions, especially those traumatic events that occur during childhood. Substance use (e.g., smoking, excessive alcohol use, and taking drugs), mental health conditions (e.g., depression, anxiety, or PTSD), and other risky behaviors (e.g., self-injury and risky sexual encounters) have been linked with traumatic experiences. 

These could be those who use or partake in the same addiction as you and just not ready to get help yet. We do know that alcohol addiction and drug addiction is a chronic disease and oftentimes addiction is a family disease so if their drug or drinking behavior is affecting you, it’s important to recognize this.  Or maybe there could be family members who abuse, belittle, or cause so much drama that it triggers you, affects your health, and puts your recovery in jeopardy. It’s important that you understand a toxic pattern so you can protect. yourself. 

For now, just make a list of who those family members are. Don’t hold back on the list or second guess this – nobody’s going to see this so you don’t’ have to worry about hurt feelings or needing to take action. This is for your eyes only so trust your gut. 

What to do and how to treat those who are genuinely there to support you

When looking at your list, there’s a reason you put those family members in the helpful bucket. Maybe it’s because they have always been there for you as a child and even now through your addiction or understanding the nature of substance abuse treatment.  Maybe it’s because they have shown you tough love or maybe it’s just a feeling you have about them, knowing that their presence will help guide you through your recovery path. It gets highly complicated when dealing with all aspects of addiction and substance use disorders so sometimes it’s important to try and look at things through a different lens. There are many benefits of family support and involvement. 

Whatever those reasons are, it’s important to hold onto and cradle what you have. At first, things will be complicated. They always are. But now is the time to start working towards rebuilding those relationships and being careful not to push anyone away while doing so.

You have to open your mind and your heart and try to put yourself in their shoes and not get offended if things don’t go exactly how you’d want them to. 

For example, let’s say your dad is on the list because you just know deep down your dad loves you and no matter what happens he’ll always be there for you. However, you also might know that you’ve hurt  your dad over the years so his trust may not be there. So, let’s say you call up your dad to ask a favor – maybe it’s borrowing money or time. If your dad says no right away, that’s okay and it’s normal. There’s no reason to get upset or mad or expect your dad to just brush off everything that’s ever happened. You’re going to need patience and time to prove yourself reliable and honest again. Now replace dad with whoever else is on your list – the same applies. Mom, aunt, brother, sister. 

The best thing you can do is be present, be kind, and always follow through with your word. If this family knows about your addiction and knows you’re getting help then let them in on your path – your hopes, dreams, and even your daily struggles. But whatever you do, don’t get upset with them, don’t try to defend your position, just try to be present and calm. I know this is easier said than done but it’s what needs to happen in order for you to not lose the family who is and will be there for you no matter what.  

If you are taking part in individual therapy or have a substance abuse counselor, talk to your therapist or counselor about how you can approach certain situations in regards to relational patterns. 

When to walk away

There are times when a person’s family life is toxic and distancing one’s self is nearly impossible which creates a high risk factor. If this is your case, you might have to make hard decisions like walking away.

Here’s how to know when you have to walk away:

  1. If that family member doesn’t allow you to reach a state of sobriety. For example, let’s say you’re trying hard to quit your addiction and  your cousin is coming over every day exposing you or asking you to partake in your drug, alcohol, or behavior; not respecting your substance abuse treatment. 
  2. If that family member causes you to want to relapse. For example, let’s say you have quit your drug of choice but a family member is emotionally abusing you so much that you feel like you have to use or partake in your addictive behavior just to escape the reality you’re living in. Or perhaps they minimize your substance use disorder or other health concerns such as chronic diseases and refuse to engage in any sort of family program. 

If you have a family member that meets either of these two scenarios, it’s important to cut ties and walk away. Now I’m not talking forever because everyone has the ability to change but cut ties for a time that allows you to gain sober moments. If you’re unsure of how long that time is – it’s different for everyone – start with a minimum of 30 days.

Part of a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous requires you to make amends with those who you have done harm to. This is good in theory but if you are trying to make amends with someone and they are not ready it’s not a good idea to keep pushing if it’s causing things to get worse such as making you feel unworthy of forgiveness or unable to change. 

If it reaches this point, it’s critical – I would call this a crisis – and you must do whatever it takes to walk away. If you have to leave your home – take that leap and do that. If you have to kick someone out then do that. AT the end of the day your sobriety should come first. Without your sobriety you can’t live and function in a way that is healthy, happy or productive.  

I know and realize this is much easier said than done. But make plans now and follow through. Whatever your situation is, always know that your success will be much higher when you take your own self seriously and distance yourself from those who aren’t good for your or your sobriety. 

Regaining their trust

Now know what to do with your good family members and know when to walk away from toxic family members.  Now, for those who are left, the ones your are opening your hearts to, the family that you trust and know will support you through just about anything – how do you regain their trust?

The creator of My Child & Addiction, Steve states, “When your child is struggling with a substance use disorder, there’s shame and blame, and situations that often involve illegal behavior, lying, and stealing that wound deeply.”

Regaining trust with those who you have lost trust with, doesn’t happen overnight. It’s going to take time but more importantly, your family is going to want to see actionable progress not just hear you say you’ve got this or i’m sorry. Poor communication will only hinder the process. 

There are two main ways to regain trust.

The first way may seem too simple but really it isn’t. It’s also the way that take the most amount of time. It’s simply not partaking in your addiction. If you are in active addiction, this step will take a bit more time as you strive for get more sobriety time under your belt.  Your family wants to see you present wants to know you’re there, ever single day and the only way to do that is to not use or partake in your addictive behavior. Now there’s no timeline for this as every family is different and there are too many factors that play into this such as history, the family process and so on. Family and friends of alcoholics are sometimes burned out so be patient with them. But if you don’t partake in your addictive behavior then that part of it will slowly start to dissipate over time. 

The second way is to have a good attitude. This may also sound simple but in reality it’s much harder when there are so many things thrown your way day in and day out. But if you’re just not using but still treating your family like shit – that’s not going to do anything. So if you really want to regain your family’s trust, the fastest way is to be positive, polite and courteous with them. Step up and help when you can, be kind when meeting them in person and don’t complain about things even if you’re agitated and there’s stuff to complain about. Think before you say things and know when to back down. Every time you’re angry, upset, or rude it’s just another dig which will then take that much longer to get the trust you need and deserve. 

Working towards healthier relationships

 Now what about everyone in between? Maybe those who have just been there; neither good nor bad. 

Part of your recovery process and a way for you to come out even stronger is going to be working towards positive healthy relationships with everyone you come into contact with; especially your entire family.  So here are some tips that you can start using today to strengthen family ties or bonds. 

  1. Understand that it’s not always about you. While yes, you’re the one going through the addiction it’s important to also understand that everyone has their own struggles. A good way to strengthen a relationship is to be genuinely interested in what other family members are up to. So actively listen, ask questions, and have input on their lives too. 
  2. Be present. Whenever you’re with a family member, make sure you are really there. Not just in the room but there and engaged. A lot of people miss stuff that’s going on around them by simply being somewhere else.  To do this; the best thing you can do is to put your phone down and take in whatever’s going on around you. Showing up is half the battle. 
  3. Give back. When I say give back, I’m talking about being the helpful person. Offer to help someone move. Offer to babysit, offer to give someone a ride. Do all of these things with no expectation that the favor will be returned to you; meeting them where they are right now. Now I say this and I want to be clear about something. We talked about toxic family members earlier and that  would be someone who is trying to take advantage of you. So for example, if you have a brother who is constantly asking you to babysit even though they know you’re going through a tough time or maybe you have a cousin is always asking you for rides but doesn’t care to ask about you or be involved in your life then that would be someone you need a break form or someone you at least need to set boundaries. When I talk about giving back, I’m talking about helping out with those who are genuinely there for you each and every day and you know that if you were ever in a pickle they’d do the same for you. 

Family Therapies or a  Family Program

Another option is to engage in a family program or family therapy sessions with a mental health professional. The benefits of family programs such as  Al-Anon Family group or a family therapist are great.  Substance abuse counselors often involve family and friends as part of treatment of substance abuse or addiction for people in recovery.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse states:

Family Behavior Therapy (FBT), which has demonstrated positive results in both adults and adolescents, is aimed at addressing not only substance use problems but other co-occurring problems as well, such as conduct disorders, child mistreatment, depression, family conflict, and unemployment. FBT combines behavioral contracting with contingency management.

There are other treatment providers such as a health care professional that could offer similar sessions or even online meetings. The important thing is to communicate – if your patterns of communication are not clear then it might be helpful to seek alternative family treatment. When it comes to family therapy programs you deserve high quality of treatment for addiction or substance abuse.

Your Road to Recovery

We know you can’t choose your family but we also know that you are free to make things stronger or to walk away. Understanding family roles is part of the process especially for people with addiction. This is why treating your substance abuse such as alcohol use disorder or addiction and finding a high quality family program at the same time is important.  A person’s family unit is always complicated and things are definitely more challenging when there is a substance use disorder involved. Your family education play a big part when it comes to treatment  providers and treatment options, your quality of life greatly depends on your treatment outcome. A domineering family member or maladaptive patterns can be problematic and affect your quality of treatment. Your road to recovery is not going to be simple so it’s important to look into platforms that have a family program. At Live Rehab we have additional resources for families who struggle with drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or addiction. The process of recovery is challenging but long-term recovery is possible. Recovery from addiction takes time so that’s why getting the right substance abuse treatment or addiction treatment is so important. Your recovery journey is worth it.

If you are here, reading this,  you have a strong potential for recovery and deserve a high level of care. Live Rehab is a platform designed for people who need to kick their addiction from home; where a traditional rehab center won’t work. Millions of people struggle in silence but you don’t have to. If you have questions about treatment or need assistance for you or someone you love, please send an email to denise@liverehab.com or check out LiveRehab.com for more information. 

Filed Under: Blog

Living Intentionally in Addiction and Recovery

June 18, 2021 By Nick Leave a Comment

Living intentionally is one of the hardest to grasp concepts when struggling with addictive behaviors or substance abuse. We’re going to talk about what it means to live intentionally and how it relates to recovery. To live intentionally you need to be focusing on the body’s physical needs, focusing on living in the now and most importantly the importance of goal setting. Additionally, kindness, empathy and being grateful plays a role in your overall success. Dr. Mcgee, board certified in addiction psychiatry states, “Personal growth and recovery do not happen by accident, but as a byproduct of intentional living.”

What does it mean to live intentionally?

When you struggle with unhealthy behaviors or substance use disorder it’s important you take each day and live each moment with intention.

But what is living with intention all about? Glad you asked.

Intentional living is how you live your own life based on your values and beliefs. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. 

I am here to help you recognize some of your own deep rooted intentions.

It is about choosing to live in a way defined by your choices. Not your subconscious. Not just going through the motions. 

If you’re in recovery or working on kicking an addiction, being complacent can lead to high-risk situations and relapse. You always need to be on your toes – let me preface this by explaining first, being on your toes doesn’t mean you can’t relax. In fact, we talk a lot about self care and giving your body a chance to relax and recover but there is a difference between calculated relaxation time to just vegging out and not thinking consciously about what your body is going through.

In recovery, everything you do should be done with intention. You should be taking care of your physical body, with intention, your mental health should be taken care of with intention, your relationships need to be thought through with intention. There should be nothing that you do that shouldn’t be without intention.

How does living intentionally help in health and addiction recovery?

A study conducted at an inner-city state-funded residential substance abuse treatment program showed a positive correlation between one’s purpose in life and relapse. Living with intention helps with balance and ability to discover one’s purpose. 

Living with intention can have incredibly positive effects for people in recovery. Living intentionally can bring great results for everyone; not just those who are struggling with an addiction by reducing the impact of stressful situations. LIving intentionally means staying focused, thinking critically about things and making moves that will benefit your overall well being. Living intentionally can help with things like an addiction trigger or drug craving. However, someone who is not struggling with an addiction, can go through periods of times or maybe never live intentionally and the outcome won’t affect them like it would someone who is in recovery. They may not gain the success they want or achieve a goal but it wouldn’t put them at risk for a relapse like someone who is struggling with an addiction. 

For example, my friend Lisa, who does not struggle with an alcohol or drug addiction, can go home from work after a hard day, throw her clothes on the floor, veg out by the television and watch reality TV while eating ice cream all while turning off her brain and won’t have any repercussions. She’ll be able to get up in the morning and go to work and pick up where she left off. 

On the flip side, my friend Matt, who struggles with alcohol, if he were to have a bad day at work and turn off his brain when he got home, like Lisa, he would likely, without even realizing he’s doing it, go to a liquor store or drink whatever liquor is at home, binge until he passes out and then would suffer the repercussions of a relapse. By turning off his brain and not living intentionally he is putting himself in high-risk situations. 

Instead, Matt should go home after a hard day at work, take a long walk with his dog around the neighborhood, and eat a healthy meal. Meditate to reduce the uncomfortable feelings and then turn on the TV and find a show on TV to help him relax. 

You see it’s unrealistic to never have down time or do normal things like watch TV. The difference is that people with addictions need to do all of these things with intention so that his subconscious doesn’t overpower and cause him to make a bad choice. One unintentional action can lead to another which can lead to another which can lead to a relapse and you don’t want that. 

Meeting the body’s physical needs

In recovery it’s super important that you’re making sure you are meeting your body’s physical needs. If you’re not meeting your body’s physical needs then you are going to be at risk for relapse. And this where intentional living comes into major play.

It’s important to make sure you get medical treatment if you have a medical condition or chronic disease. Always make sure to take the advice of a health professional. 

Another physical need you should be aware of is how your body is getting its energy. We know that’s food of course but what kind of food is put into your body to meet your body’s needs? If you fill yourself with junk food, you’re not going to feel very well whereas, if you eat a well balanced healthy diet that is low in sugar you’ll set yourself up for success. In order to be successful with a healthy eating lifestyle you need to eat with intention. Every bite you take should be a conscious bite. Something you know that is going to give your body the vitamins and nutrients it needs to be healthy and strong. When you mindlessly you tend to overeat but when you eat with intention you are much more likely to stop when you are full or when you know your body has had enough. 

Another physical need to meet is fitness. Everybody needs some sort of regular exercise. If you eat well but you’re sitting all day or not moving your body you still won’t feel as good as you would if you incorporate both healthy eating and fitness together. So to do this, you must intentionally get up and move your body. When you turn your brain off, it’s easy to forget to move. Whether you’re at work, at home, or hanging out with family and friends, be sure to incorporate fitness as often as possible. You should be doing this both rigorously (like joining a gym, hiking, biking, etc.) and also passively – so like making conscious choices to take the stairs instead of the elevator or go for a walk outside on your lunch break.

And the last part of meeting your body’s physical needs is making sure you are sleeping the right amount. This means that you must intentionally go to bed every night at a time you set for yourself. If you turn your brain off it’s easy to lose track of time. When you intentionally focus on fitness and nutrition, you’ll also be able to sleep better because of it. 

Focusing on the Now

Focusing on the now is a big part in the whole recovery process. I talk about it often in most of my courses because it’s just that important. 

There is no way to intentionally do things if you’re thinking about the past or worrying about the future. Your mind is somewhere else when you’re not focusing on the now. 

Focusing on the now is a lot harder than most people think. I mean just think about this right this moment, Are you listening to my voice or are you thinking about something else? Bring your attention here and don’t let it wonder. My challenge for you is to see if you can make it through this entire lecture without having your mind drift. Of course your mind is going to wander off though – that’s normal but how fast can you catch it and bring it back – that’s the key. 

So as we continue and talk about things like goal setting and intentionally working through each day, just remember, the moment your mind starts to wonder to gently bring it back to the present moment. Try not to get too frustrated with this task as it takes a lot of patience and time to really master this concept but if you practice as often as you can, at least a few times per day, you’ll start to see the benefits of what it means to be living in the present moment. Anxious feelings will lessen as you won’t be thinking about the past or worrying about what’s coming next because all you have is this moment right here, right now. It is a comfortable experience you are striving for. 

Want to take some action right now? Download our FREE meditation on being strong in recovery:

The Importance of Goal Setting and Structure  

We are all different people and we all have different ideas on how we can live our best possible life. Setting goals and creating structure will give you the opportunity to really work each day on living intentionally to lead productive lives. 

If you’re not working towards something then what are you working for? Everyone has goals but not everyone knows how to set them, set structure and implement the tasks required to acheive those goals. In our next lecture we’ll talk about setting big and/or small goals but for now let’s talk about how to set goals and what to do. I want to give you some examples. 

Something that you can work on this week.  

Example: “I want to be more kind.”  

So for this, you will put that as your goal and every day this week, living intentionally, you would aim to be the kindest person you can possibly be. Be mindful of every interaction you make.

Example: “I want to have a better relationship with my mom.”

For this, maybe you would send your mom a text on Monday and call her on Wednesday. Or perhaps go see her on Friday.  

Example: “I want to take a vacation to the beach.”

For this, maybe on Tuesday you would work out the cost of this trip and then on Friday you would work out how much money you would need to save in order to make this trip happen. You get the idea!

So as you can see, your work is to work backwards and the best way to do this is to set a date that you’d like to achieve the goal and then carve out time each day or week to work towards that goal. But don’t just carve out time, think of it as an outline. You know how when you were in school and you would write a paper, you always started with writing an outline.  You can do that with goal setting. Write an outline or a task list of everything that needs to happen in order for you to reach your goal and be specific. Then on the days or times you set aside to work towards that goal you will know exactly what you need to do. This eliminates the feeling of the task being too big or unsure about where to start. What types of goals do you want to set for yourself?  think big or small

Think Big or Small

I often get the question of how to set goals and should they be big or small? And that’s always a great question and never one size fits all. Really it all depends on where you are in your recovery. 

For example, some of you may have the goal of not partaking in your addiction and that’s a great goal if you’re just starting your recovery journey. But I do caution you to think deeper as you progress through. You shouldn’t just have that one goal forever. 

I want you to think of one goal big or small that you have for your life and write it down; anywhere, on a piece of paper or jot it down in your phone. I know that seems incredibly broad but think of something you’ve always wanted to do or maybe a way you’ve wanted to be.

Now look at that goal. Is it a big goal like going on a vacation or is it a small goal like calling your mom. Either way, a goal is a goal and once you write it down you can then take the steps to put it into action. Really, as long as you’re setting goals you’re making progress no matter how big or small they may seem. And that brings us to our next topic. Setting goals doesn’t have to be addiction related. 

Life Beyond Addiction

Oftentimes, treatment of substance abuse or behaviors encourages people to get stuck in the trap and believe that their entire life revolves around setting addiction goals: How many common triggers can I overcome? There is life beyond addiction.

Recovery is a beautiful thing but it’s important to have balance in your life too. And I say this as again this all really depends on where you’re at in your recovery. If you’re new to recovery then perhaps all of your goals will be recovery related but as you get some time under your belt start thinking of other things. You can combine your goals as well so maybe each week you have one recovery focused goal and one non focused recovery goal. 

For example you might have a goal to get a new job and another goal of making it to 100 days, without partaking in your addiction. Again this is not to say that you should ever lose site or not have your recovery goals in mind, it’s just to say that recovery doesn’t have to feel like it’s the only way or there’s no possibility of ever living a regular life – but regular is subjective too right?

As you progress you’ll start to notice that your goals will become more clear and focused. Just be sure that you are constantly moving forward, setting intentional goals and never losing sight of the bigger picture.  

Recovery and Being Grateful

Living intentionally is one thing but being intentionally grateful can take your recovery experience to a whole different level. It’s not easy being grateful. Most of us have had strong past experiences, some might even have past trauma or have had so many obstacles and unlucky things that have been handed to them. 

But if you can think beyond all that and take time to be intentionally grateful  you’ll surprise yourself on the impact that this can make.

You might feel like there isn’t much to be grateful for, especially early on your recovery but there’s always going to be something you can be grateful for. If you have eyes and can see this course or if you have ears and can hear my voice – those are things you can be greatful for right off the bat. As you progress through your recovery other things will start to come into your love that you can be grateful for. Maybe you start to rebuild and something amazing happens like a new relationship, getting to know your family again, starting a new job, moving to a new home, and so on. As things start to manifest it’s going to be important that you’re not just grateful but you are intentionally taking time each day to reflect and be grateful. Everyone can start with being grateful they are making the choice to kick their addiction or they already have made the choice. 

A good way to start is to write in your journal, Find something, at least one thing per day to be grateful for. 

One of my clients had an especially hard time with this activity and was very resistant. We did this activity together each week and I remember his first entry was that he was grateful that he didn’t have diarrhea. I know that sounds icky but at that moment he was truly grateful for that as his addiction caused him a great amount of stomach pain with irritable bowels. We laughed a little together and as the week’s progressed it was truly amazing how things transpired. AFter about 3 months we ended up reflecting back to week one and even he was surprised that that was the only thing he could think of in the beginning. 

My point is, it doesn’t matter where you start with this activity. Some of you may have a ton of things to be grateful for and that’s wonderful! WRite them down and think about those things daily but if you don’t have a ton of things that’s okay too. Just find one small thing each day. 

Kindness, Empathy, and Giving Back

I know it’s completely cliche to hear what goes around comes around, especially in recovery because everyone has a past but when I think of this phrase I truly believe this as far as coming from a positive intention. When you are kind, empathetic and give back to your community without expecting anything in return, good things will start to happen. LIfe isn’t always tit for tat so for example it’s not you can say oh I’ll be kind today and then get upset when someone cuts you off driving or a cashier is rude to you. This is more of an overall what goes around comes around and it doesn’t happen overnight. 

For example, if you start making changes every day to be more kind than overtime you’ll start to build up your trust with people who you have lost it with in the past. In a few weeks or months you’ll start to notice that your relationships get better and stronger and that’s what I mean by what goes around, comes around. 

I truly believe it starts with kindness, intentionally being kind. It’s a lot easier said than done but really just be nice. Don’t overreact and when someone or something upsets you do your best to stay present, calm and kind, even if you don’t get the same respect in return. It is not good to prove points, to give lessons, and so on. If you find yourself feeling like it’s impossible to say or do something kind in a rough moment, the kindness thing you can do for yourself and the other person is to walk away. Walking away is much better than not being kind. 

Once you start to figure out how to be more kind – and trust me I know this, it’s not something that everyone can do naturally but you can learn and it will come with practice but once you start to figure that part out then it’s important to practice empathy.

Empathy is doing your best to try and put yourself in other people’s shoes. So let’s say you are in a fight with a friend or family member – just remember, everyone has baggage and a history so if you can try and find common ground or relate to them in any way you are practicing empathy. 

Part of being empathetic is also remembering that it’s not always about you. Yes you are going through a lot and yes you deserve to have someone there for you but remember, everyone is human so taking the time to get to know others and understanding their situations is a form of empathy. 

And once you start to make those changes in your life, getting better each day as your recovery is stronger each day you can think about how to give back. Giving back doesn’t have to be the typical things like volunteering at a food bank or whatever, I mean if that’s what you want to do then that’s perfectly fine too but make it your own and something you’ll truly appreciate and enjoy. A lot of people like to give back in areas that have once affected them or things that they feel passionate about whether it’s people, animals, the environment, doesn’t matter just think about that. And it doesn’t have to be big either; it can be small things each day that can truly make a difference. 

Maybe you give a homeless person your apple or pull over when you see an elderly person with a broken down car. Whatever way you want to give back is up to you but once you start living with kindness, empathy and giving back to the world, your life will start to evolve as well. 

Now  I know we’ve covered a lot here and I also recognize that no one person can implement all of these strategies especially at once so let’s now let’s talk about not burning yourself out. 

Don’t Burn Yourself Out 

When struggling with addiction issues and in recovery there’s always so much thrown your way, do this and do that and everything will be great. It’s impossible to implement every single thing you’re supposed to. It takes time, patience and small gradual changes for recovery to be a success. If you go all out too hard, too fast, you will burn out. 

One thing to remember is to not beat yourself up if you can’t fit everything into one day. We talk so much here about making sure your physical health is okay, that you take care of your mental health and all of your social circles. If you struggle with a mental health disorder it’s important to talk to a mental health professional to treat your mental health and disease of addiction at the same time. Behavioral therapy and individual therapy can be a benefit to the continuum of care. 

Remember, recovery is never an overnight success. The goal is to implement what you can each day and for today to be better than yesterday. Living intentionally is a lifelong process. If you forget to journal one day, or if you don’t have the chance to work out, maybe you miss a counseling appointment or forget to take time to set goals, it’s okay! This isn’t about perfection, it’s about longevity and taking things one day at a time. You’ll get stronger each and every day you’ll be able to handle more and more. Your chance of success will increase every day. Eventually you’ll surprise yourself on how much you are actually able to take care of your mind, body and soul. But please, be kind to yourself and if you fall off somewhere, just pick up where you left off. 

Addiction and Recovery Care

If you struggle with substance abuse or a behavior addiction it’s important to find a treatment plan that meets your individual needs. Effective treatment embraces flexibility and uniqueness by using a holistic approach which is exactly what Live Rehab offers. People in recovery deserve a chance to kick their addictions without having to leave their family, pets, friends or work. Traditional treatment centers may not always be the best options and their treatment outcomes are not great. If you struggle with drug or alcohol abuse then Live Rehab could be a solution. Recovery from addiction is possible. 

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Spirituality in Recovery

June 11, 2021 By Nick Leave a Comment

What is Spirituality in Recovery?

You’re probably wondering if you have to be a spiritual or religious person to hear this. The short answer is no and we’ll talk more about that. If you are used to hearing about 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous then you have likely known that they push spirituality and religion into their program. Here at Live Rehab we do not do this. Your treatment should be unique to you and your experience so the purpose of this is to show you how you can incorporate spirituality into your treatment program in your own way. Recovery from addiction should not have rules or parameters.

Your Addiction Recovery treatment should allow you to explore your own behavior and spiritual beliefs and then you should be able to choose how you want to incorporate your practice into your daily life.

Your Worldview is Your Life Meaning

One aspect of spirituality is your worldview.

Your worldview is how you perceive and experience the world, the way you live your life, your point of view, your philosophy, principles, values, emotions, and ethics. It’s the human experience. All of this plays a significant role in recovery and substance abuse addiction treatment.

The reason this is important is that what you see and do is not how everyone else sees and views things. Everyone has their own unique worldview and spiritual belief and you need to understand that and figure out how to embrace your worldview to benefit your situation.

For example, you may view drugs, alcohol, or porn as problematic as it’s affected your life but your neighbor may view correlate these activities with positive emotions or a way to have fun and relax.  Just because he sees it that way doesn’t mean he’s wrong, it just means it hasn’t affected him in the same ways as it’s affected you. 

So as you work through this, you will run across people in your social network and on the internet who are going to have vastly different opinions on this topic. That doesn’t mean their opinions are wrong or you should ignore them but you will need to take some to self reflect on your values and ethics. What kind of person do you want to be and how has this addiction impacted that? Is it holding you back? 

Spirituality in recovery means different things to everyone

The Role of Spirituality in Addiction Recovery

According to Dr. Christina Puchalski from the George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health, “spirituality is the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred.”

Spirituality and religion are big influences in a person’s worldview. A lot of people turn to their religion for support or embrace spirituality. Spirituality is not the same thing as religion so just remember that. You can be both spiritual and religious or you can be spiritual without a religious practice. It’s your choice. 

Reflection can be obtained through actions like journaling, meditation or just being still and living in the moment. It’s important for you to come up with your own unique values and discover what is important to you and then begin to live your life based on your own rule book. This in itself can give you a spiritual experience and can improve your spiritual life.

So I encourage you to take time each day, it can be as little as 5 minutes per day or some people prefer longer sessions of up to an hour, to get to know your own self and from this moment forward, making sure your actions come from what you are and who you want to be. It’s a process and you will grow as time goes on and as you are able to increase the amount of time you spend on self discovery. You will overtime reap the benefits of your spiritual progress. 

Do I have to be a spiritual person to hear this?

In a BACP article, Peter Hillan writes, “There is a wealth of literature, mostly from the US, on the relationship between religion, spirituality and problematic substance use. Much of the evidence seems to suggest that, as religious or spiritual practices increase, substance use decreases: ‘[the] widespread belief that spirituality is important in recovery is consistent with findings to date”.

So, again, do you need to be spiritual in recovery to hear this?

No, absolutely not. And that’s because spirituality and your worldview  is not what you might think it is and in fact, it’s so broad you might surprise yourself and realize you’re more spiritual than you think. The official definition of spirituality is this: the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.

Now you might be thinking well I don’t believe in spirits so let’s break that down even further. If you look at the definition of spirit the non-physical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character; the soul.

So we all have character, we all have attitudes or moods – things we can’t touch. So if you go back to the definition of spirituality it’s being concerned with those things you can’t touch rather than those things you can. 

So really spirituality is what you make of it. It’s connecting with your inner self or higher power if you have one. And once you start to practice more self care and being in tune with your inner soul then you’ll start to really feel things you never knew you were capable of feeling which is super important when in recovery. Being in tune with your own self. So let’s dive into that topic – why spirituality in addiction recovery and sobriety is important

Why Spirituality is Important in Recovery

Spirituality – whatever that means to you – is very important especially if you’re tackling an addiction. Spirituality in addiction treatment programs provides hope and meaning. It gives you somewhere to turn when it feels like nobody else is really understanding or able to get you. It helps you get more in tune with your own self, feelings, and connections to the world. As humans we all have the desire to be connected in a non physical sense. When you’re in recovery or trying to beat an addiction, spirituality can help you get further and can help you stay grounded when times get really tough. 

For example, if you have a solid spiritual practice in place – like meditation, prayer, video, yoga, exercise, deep breathing, journaling doesn’t matter what it is, but if you practice every day then if you feel triggered one day yet take that time to connect with yourself you’ll have a better chance at being able to overcome that trigger. 

Spirituality in recovery gives you purpose and when in recovery it can be difficult to know what that purpose is – sometimes it starts with just a feeling and that’s why it’s important to try to understand your own spiritual connectedness so that you have something you can turn to whenever you need. Something that is always there, something that’s not physical or dependent on anything other than your own self and mind. 

Spirituality VS. Religion

A lot of times when we talk about spirituality, people often mistake that as talking about religion. You can be religious and have a spiritual practice and you can be not religious and have a spiritual practice. But just because you are religious does not necessarily mean you are a spiritual person. 

The official definition of religion is: the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods. Now some people go to church every Sunday, believe in God, and practice a religion – whatever that religion means to them. At the same time, things like prayer and having that divine connection with God is what would be the spiritual side of religion. 

But some of you may not practice a religion. You may not go to church or even believe in God – you can still have a spiritual practice though. You can connect with something higher than yourself or you can connect with just you – your inner soul. It’s whatever works for you. 

So if you’re spiritual and you practice a religion – great. Faith is important especially in recovery. 

If you’re not a religious person there’s no need to feel like you have to be religious for the sake of recovery or fighting an addiction. Just do what feels right for you. Let’s talk more about that – how to find what feels right for you. 

Practice What Feels Right For You

A spiritual journey is a process and definitely not one size fits all. For some of you, your spiritual practice may be digging deeper into what you already do – for instance if you pray to God or a higher power, it’s honing in on that and stepping up your commitment during your recovery. For others it may start from scratch, figuring out where you fit in all this. It’s okay to take it slow but it’s important to do spiritual work every day. It may be going to church or church group, maybe more prayer, you could focus on meditation more. If you’re unsure where to start, start with some youtube videos and maybe something will click or something will resonate with you. I once had a student who said they weren’t spiritual – they were atheists and they only believe in science. I challenged them to watch more science and nature videos, documentaries, and then gave them the task to go outside and connect with the world – the trees, the sky, the clouds, the sun. After a few weeks they were amazed at how they thought that the whole spiritual piece of this wouldn’t fit but in reality because they had the flexibility to do it on their own terms the way they felt they could benefit, they realized that their spiritual practice was connected with science. And you can do that too. It’s important to make sure that whatever you decide to do doesn’t feel forced or fake in any way. 

How to be spiritual in recovery

If you’re new to spirituality then try a lot of different things until something clicks. Like you could try different churches, different types of meditations, yoga classes, youtube videos, whatever works. And it’s always okay to abandon something if it stops working or doesn’t feel good. Spirituality is about the process and not about the to-do list – it’s not like I’ve meditated today, check, when in reality you’re just meditating to get it over with. If that’s what you’re feeling then try something else.

The reason it’s important to understand your worldview is so that you can be more in tune with yourself. When you are more in tune with yourself you will be able to then in turn have more empathy for other people and this is a big step in being able to navigate your social relationships. These are the benefits of spirituality.

How You Can Be More In Tune With Yourself and Your Behavior

Being in tune with yourself isn’t easy and definitely doesn’t come naturally. It takes work and the ability to be self-aware. One thing to think about is whether or not you’re actually living in the present  moment or are you constantly thinking about your past or what comes next? Think about this very moment. ARe you listening to my voice or are you thinking about your to-do list – housework, stuff going on at work, your friends, family drama. LIving in the now, in this moment, is a good first step to being more in tune with yourself. 

Think of this as like getting to know someone that you don’t really know. Now is the perfect time to do this. As you progress through your recovery you are going to be a different person and you need to get to know that person – what do you really like? What are you passionate about? What irritates you? What do you love? 

Start today by recognizing when your mind starts to wander and bring it back to the present moment. It sounds easy but as you move on through the day I think you’ll be surprised how difficult this little task actually is. This is especially true when you have a lot going on around you. I know most people are busy with work, school, parenting, friends, family and so on. Being on auto-pilot is naturally how humans progress through the day. It takes concentration and determination to train your mind to live more presently but once you are able to do this often, you will see how big of an impact this can have on your overall physical health, mental health and ability to control social situations. 

Incorporating Meditation into Your Life

One way to help speed up the process is to start a meditation practice. You can find free videos on youtube, spotify or itunes. But if you take time out every day you’ll learn how to incorporate the now into your everyday life. Hundreds of thousands of people have used mindfulness meditation as a tool to combat negative emotions. Meditative practices have been proven to help regulate emotions which is helpful in reducing triggers and managing impulse control. Meditation doesn’t have to be long or hard. You can start by doing 5-10 minutes per day and then work your way up. If you can swing an app, that’s usually very helpful so you can track your progress. Most people tend to have preferences when it comes to their meditative practices and just like what we’ve been talking about here, it’s about this understanding that not everyone needs or wants the same things. So you may prefer short guided meditations while someone else may prefer longer unguided meditations. You’ll never know your own preferences unless you try a variety of methods. I usually tell my students to take the first two weeks and try different things; different meditations, laying down, sitting up, eyes open, eyes closed, walking meditations etc. and you’ll find your own preference that provides you with positive mediational effects as you explore.  Meditation can help you explore meaning in life and has also been shown to help with mental health disorders and help physically like lowering blood pressure and increasing the quality of sleep you get.

Your Recovery Journey

Thanks for being here and pushing through this topic. It’s not an easy discussion especially for those in active addiction and definitely very sensitive as everyone has the right to feel the way they want to feel and believe what they want to believe, or what’s true to their own heart. Spirituality in recovery is just about that – it’s connecting with the divine or your true inner self. Knowing that everyone else has a slightly different worldview can also be helpful when confronting family and friends and can be impactful in avoiding conflict and creating empathy. Remember, context is everything in situations and unless someone is literally inside your head knowing what you see, what you’ve seen, and how you think they will likely not ever be able to get the full picture and being okay with that is an important part of recovery. It’s how you grow as a person and how you are able to create space between your thoughts and feelings and your actions or what you say to people. I know it’s easier said than done but like everything else the more practice you put in the better you will get at being able to control the things you say and do in a way that positively contributes to a healthy recovery.                                        

If you are looking for an addiction and recovery treatment program that isn’t 12-steps like Alcoholics Anonymous then check out Live Rehab. We use a holistic approach towards sobriety and kicking addictions. If you struggle with a behavior addiction or substance use disorder like alcohol addiction and want something that is flexible, our program offers just that. Not everyone needs or is able to attend a traditional in-patient or outpatient formal treatment center.   Live Rehab is an opportunity for people who struggle with drug or alcohol treatment and need more of an individualized treatment and aftercare plan.                                                                                                                                          

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Co-Occurring Disorders (Dual Diagnosis) and why you need treatment for your mental health and addiction at the same time

May 28, 2021 By Denise Leave a Comment

When people struggle with an addiction, the first thing they are likely to notice is how their mental health suffers. A lot of people develop mental health disorders in addition to their addiction either during their use or after they detox while others may have been already struggling with their mental health prior to their addiction. Either way, those who struggle with co-occurring substance abuse problems, or have a dual diagnosis, need to know how important it is to take care of their mental health to achieve a strong recovery.

Co-Occurring Disorder or Dual Diagnosis

Guest editor for the Journal of Dual Diagnosis, Dr. Francisca Filbey, showed how numerous peer reviewed studies indicated correlations between cannabis and alcohol use and conduct disorders and strong evidence that shows cannabis use increases psychosis risk. 

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, there is a strong link between substance use disorders and anxiety disorders which includes generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. The National Institute on Drug Abuse also stated that substance use disorders also co-occur at high prevalence with mental disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder, hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), psychotic illness, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder.

So whether or not you struggle with mental health conditions or mental illness such as Anxiety, Compulsive Disorder, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or at risk of psychosis due to your substance use, this information will help with the recovery process. Some people who have symptoms of substance use disorder are unsure if they need professional mental health care so we’ll go over the 30 day test and then we will walk you through on how to find a mental health professional if you need one.

What Exactly Is the Relationship Between Addiction and Mental Illness?

There’s this thing in the addiction treatment community called the chicken or the egg theory. We talk about this when we talk about co-occurring disorder or dual diagnosis. A co-occuring disorder or dual diagnosis is when someone is diagnosed with a mental health disorder as well as a substance use disorder. The reason we call it the chicken or the egg theory is because we don’t always know.

What comes first: Substance abuse or the mental health problem?

Did you start using drugs or alcohol to escape from something or to band-aid a mental disorder in childhood, teen years or early adulthood such as depression or anxiety? Or did using drugs or alcohol cause you to struggle with mental health struggles which is a common issue.

Sometimes you just don’t know and that’s okay too, especially if you started at a very young age. For example, a 12 year old may not know that smoking weed helps them feel calmer because they have ADHD. But for this, try and think back to when you first started doing drugs or drinking alcohol. What was going on in your mind during that point in your life? Were you previously struggling with anxiety, depression, etc?  If not, you likely just started experimenting for the sake of experimenting and that’s completely normal too. Lots of kids, teens and adults do that. However, if something was going on, think back to how you felt once you started drinking or doing drugs. Did you start to feel better? If that’s the case then you likely had a mental health struggle prior to your drug addiction or alcohol abuse and your mental health struggle was the likely cause of you wanting to keep going back and using. It makes sense right? Consciously or subconsciously using drugs or alcohol helps you feel better and who doesn’t want to feel better?

However, if nothing was going on prior but you started to experience mental health struggles after your drug and alcohol use it’s possible that the drugs or alcohol brought them on. That is common as well. It is important to think back and recognize this because if you’re in the latter – the part where your drug and alcohol use caused you to struggle mentally then there’s a good chance that by just stopping using your mental health struggles will start to dissipate. That’s not alway the case for everyone but it’s something you can try for. But if you had mental struggles prior to using drugs or alcohol then it’s unlikely that stopping drugs or alcohol will help. In fact, if you don’t get effective treatment for your mental health it’ll likely turn into this vicious cycle. You’ll stop using but by doing so you’ll struggle with whatever is going on that you’ve been putting  a bandaid on for so long and oftentimes those struggles are so unbearable that they cause a relapse. For example, if you struggled with anxiety and quitting drinking gives you more anxiety you’ll be almost forced to continue to drink until you get mental health treatment for your anxiety.

Why Mental Health Disorders Coexist With Substance Use

If you are already struggling with a mental health condition or have a mental health diagnosis then it’s important that you treat that at the same time as your addiction.. You’re going to need possible treatment with the help of a mental health professional.

According to an article on mentalhealth.gov  studies have shown that more than one in four adults, 25 percent,  living with serious mental health problems also have a substance use problem.

Here’s Why Dual Diagnosis Treatment is Important

You can go into treatment and recovery from a substance use disorder by simply not drinking or taking any mind altering substances. That’s great if that happens and for some, that’s all that’s needed to live a productive healthy life. But for others, there’s much more to it than that.

If you have a diagnosis of a mental disorder and you leave it untreated, you are putting your sobriety at risk of substance misuse relapse every day. If you are sober but still feel like shit whether you’re dealing with a symptom of a mood disorder, depression, anxiety, ADHD, psychotic disorder whatever it is, stopping the use of drugs and alcohol will not stop those symptoms too unless your mental health struggles were caused by  your substance use and abuse, like we talked about earlier.

But if you think that you can just ignore your mental health and not using drugs or alcohol will be the answer, the chances are very slim that you’ll obtain a life of sobriety or sustained recovery. So please, really think this through and if you want a life that is free, enjoyable and productive then you must treat your addiction and mental health at the same time.

But now, after talking about all of this, what if you’re still unsure? You really truly don’t know what’s going on with your mental health and whether or not this is a symptom of your substance use or abuse. Let’s talk now about the 30 day test.

Unsure if you have a Co-occurring Disorder? Take the 30 day test.

Oftentimes, in the beginning of sobriety, people go through the honeymoon phase. This means that patients after detox they feel quite well, ambitious, and energetic. But then once real life starts to set back in, a symptom may start to appear, triggers or post acute withdrawal syndrome starts and may begin to come on super strong. This is one of the main reasons for relapse. But if you’re armed with the knowledge of what to expect you can prevent this.

So, the 30 day test is this. If you stop your behavior or substance use for 30 days and you don’t have any major mental health struggles other than withdrawal symptoms then you’re likely okay to just keep on doing what you’re doing and continuing to take care of your mental health by doing things from home like engaging in self-care, talking to friends and family about your feelings, journaling, or meditation. . However, if after 30 days of abstaining from your addiction you still have mental health struggles or any symptom of anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, and so on then it’s important that you make an appointment with a mental health professional.

Mental health symptoms will not go away on their own. It’s not worth the risk for substance use relapse and you’ll find yourself going through this vicious cycle over and over again until you treat the root cause and that is why you’ll need to talk to a health care provider. they may give you a diagnosis or go over your options for care. You need to take action and take charge so that you can also obtain a life free from your addiction. 

How to find a mental health professional in your area and what to expect. 

So now that we’ve talked about how important it is to tackle your mental health treatment at the same time as your addiction let’s talk about how to go about finding a mental health professional to get a possible diagnosis.

There are many ways you can talk to a professional. The first thing you’ll want to do is decide what kind of professional you need.

Some people start with counseling. Counseling is a good way to get professional help if you’re struggling with things that are currently going on. Let’s say you’re dealing with the death of a loved one, having a hard time being a parent, or maybe you are having problems in your marriage. A counselor is there to counsel, to give professional advice. 

Some of you may prefer a therapist. A therapist will provide you with therapy. There are different types of therapy that therapists can offer but in the grand scheme of things, a therapist will be able to treat psychological problems through therapy. So for example, if you are dealing with past trauma, severe anxiety, depression, etc. you may need therapy. Therapists do not prescribe medication, they are skilled in a specific niche such as psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, family therapy, etc. You just need to do some research to find out what type of therapy may be best for you.

Then there are psychiatrists. Psychiatrists treat a psychiatric disorder through the use of prescription medication. . In order for a psychiatrist to prescribe medication though, their patients need to have a diagnosed psychiatric disorder and just because the medication isn’t an illegal drug, there is still a strong risk factor associated with addiction. With that being said, medication management may also be needed specifically if you are diagnosed with Opioid Use Disorder.

If you’re unsure about what you need, many behavioral health centers offer what is called a mental health intake. A mental health intake is done by a mental health professional and it’s where you go in and sit down with someone for an hour or two and they’ll ask you questions and then give their professional advice on what they think you may need for a diagnosis.

Now, once you decide what kind of mental health support you need, you’ll need to figure out how to find a professional and what is covered. If you are located in the United States you’ll want to contact your insurance company to see what’s available. Most insurance companies do provide some sort of mental health care but it may depend on your diagnosis if you have one. If you’re outside of the United States you’ll want to see what’s covered by your country’s health care or your private insurance plan.

Once you know what’s covered you can usually ask your insurance company to provide you with some referrals and then start making calls. When you make the calls be sure to ask about any hidden fees or copays and make sure it’s what you can afford or what’s within your budget. 

You’ll know a lot about a place by how they handle their front office and your initial contact with them. If you call and get a rude receptionist that’s a big red flag because it doesn’t matter how good the therapist or counselor is, if you can’t ever get through to them or have to deal with unprofessional office staff then that would just add more stress than what it’s worth. It’s also recommended that you read reviews online from other patients who have had a similar diagnosis or mental illness.

Be picky about who you choose. If you go to a few appointments and it’s just not working don’t feel bad about terminating your care to find someone else. You have to do what’s best for you and trust me on this, you will eventually find what’s best for you.  But whatever you do, don’t give up on this. Keep working at it until you get the results you deserve. 

Taking care of your mental health (self-care, etc.) 

Taking care of your mental health should always be a priority for everyone. You should think of this on the same lines of how taking care of your physical health is important. 

So there are things you can do proactively and in your everyday life to make sure your mental health is where it needs to be. 

You’ve likely heard about self care and how important it is for every person on this planet but what is self-care and how does that help your mental health?

Self-care looks different for everyone and what you do depends on what your mind, body and soul need in certain situations or periods in your life. A solid self care plan has been shown to reduce anxiety, depression and can lift your overall mood and ability to cope with day to day situations. 

So you need to start thinking about what you can do for self care and this should be something you incorporate into your daily routine. For some of you it may be simple like taking time every night to read a book or take a bubble bath. Some of you may find yoga or meditation to be what you need. Your plan should be something that works and something you genuinely enjoy, not something you do every day just to tick a box. If you hate yoga but love to swim then swim. Some people make it super simple like take time to watch funny movies while others may need massages, manicures or facials to really take care of themselves. Remember, this can be tailored to your personal situation, your budget and what you genuinely enjoy. Don’t skip the self-care. It’s important and you deserve it. 

Questions about Addiction treatment?

If you are dealing with a co-occurring mental health disorder or dual diagnosis you can learn how to treat your addiction at the same time. At Live Rehab, we know not everyone has the opportunity to enter a treatment center and that is why we created a platform with addiction courses that you can take on your own time, creating your own road to recovery. Treatment for addiction should be tailored to your specific needs. If you struggle with mental illness and already have a health care provider then it’s important to continue with your treatment provider as well as a treatment program for your addiction to get holistic proper treatment. Our program is not meant to replace mental health care but a resource you can use in addition to the professional care you are receiving to strengthen your road to recovery through an ongoing process. Our program consists of over 20 online addiction courses, 4 hours of recovery meditations, monthly masterminds, Q&A, outside referrals by use of a searchable database and we help anyone with any addiction including substance and alcohol addiction and behavioral addictions.

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How to get Amazing Sleep in Recovery from Addiction

May 27, 2021 By Denise Leave a Comment

We all know that getting enough sleep is generally important to your overall health but it’s even more important when you are fighting a drug, alcohol, or behavior addiction. It’s common to feel like you’re not getting enough or you’re sleeping too much.

Sleep is a key component when breaking any behavior, alcohol or drug addiction. Just like fitness and nutrition, it’s important to take care of your health by focusing on adequate sleep. In other words, you need to let your body rest.

Sleep is the Body’s Repair Time

The effects of drugs, alcohol addiction, and behaviors often produce sleep loss. Your addiction has likely been taking a toll on your body and most people in active addiction also struggle with addiction-related sleep disturbances. Certain drugs and substances impact sleep quality so it’s not uncommon for individuals who struggle with an addiction also struggle with sleep disturbances or a sleep disorder such as insomnia. When you have sleep issues, your entire body is affected. Your brain needs sleep in order to repair itself and help you turn back to baseline.

Poor Sleep during Withdrawals

In early recovery, the sleep period is often disturbed by withdrawal symptoms. Anyone with any addiction may suffer from withdrawals whether it’s a behavior or substance like cocaine, meth, or alcohol. Opioid withdrawal can be quite intense. A common withdrawal symptom is insufficient sleep. During the withdrawal period it’s common to have vivid dreams and disturbances throughout the night.  

The Link Between Sleep and Triggers

One study that was published in the National Institute of Health stated that there is a strong link between sleep disturbances and relapse. Sleep loss can cause your body to become irritated and agitation can lead triggers which could put you at risk of relapse. When you sleep too much, your body doesn’t get the activity it needs to be in a healthy state and this can lead to lack of motivation, depression, or sadness which can also lead to triggers and relapse. The key is to get just the right amount, every single night. 

Most people don’t have a healthy sleep schedule and those who are fighting an addiction have it that much harder. That’s why I want to talk to you about how exactly to get a good night’s sleep every night. When you couple this with a healthy diet and fitness, you set yourself up for great success. 

How much sleep are you getting now?

The first thing you’ll need to do before changing anything is take inventory. How much are you getting now and is it quality sleep? Does it take you forever to fall asleep? Do you wake up often? Detoxing from substances can impact your sleep as many people who are withdrawing or detoxing report major insomnia. Once you finish with detox though, you should be aiming to get restful sleep.

Keep a Diary

The answers to these questions should be documented over a couple of days. The easiest way to get answers is to use a fitness tracker that logs your sleep.  Most fitness trackers are pretty affordable now and very beneficial because you can use it for your nutrition and fitness as well. If you don’t have a fitness tracker then you’ll have to start using a pen and paper – just keep a log next to your bed.

If using a pen and paper it’s impossible to know your exact sleep cycle but that’s okay; when you wake up just try to remember around what time you fell asleep, what time you woke up and if you remember waking up in the middle of the night.

You’ll need a few days in order to calculate some sort of average. Everybody has off nights here and there; that’s normal but what we really want to know is how much you are getting on average and what your natural sleep cycle is like.

It’s important to make a note of how you feel each morning and throughout the day while making a log. Are you feeling refreshed when you wake up, groggy, what about during the day? Do you get tired often? Go ahead and start and log and continue to log your sleep over the next few days. After that: we’ll talk about how much sleep you should be getting. 

How much sleep should you be getting?

According to the CDC you should be getting 7-9 hours each night and only waking up once or twice for a few moments, if at all. It shouldn’t take you  more than 7-10 minutes to fall asleep and  you should find waking up; while yes nobody likes to wake up but it shouldn’t feel impossible.

Once you figure out where you stand, you can then start to make improvements.

 Getting the Right Amount

Getting the right amount of sleep isn’t easy and won’t just come naturally. It’s going to take some time and effort to establish better habits to reduce sleep disturbance and we’ll talk about that a little more later.

Depending on how far away you are from getting an average night’s sleep; the time it will take to get there will vary. For example, if you’re getting about 6 hours of sleep, then it shouldn’t take long to make your sleep even better. But if you’re sleeping only 2-3 hours of maybe 12-13 hours per night, it may take a bit longer. 

Once you’ve established your baseline and you know where your goal is,making those small improvements each week will be a little easier to do. You wouldn’t just go from getting 2-3 hours per sleep to magically the next night trying to aim for 7 hours. 

Do What’s Right for You

Now I’ve heard all the arguments in the world and the most common one is that individuals sometimes feel like they’re getting enough sleep and sleeping more is not how their body works. I mean look at some of the stuff you read online – successful people work 24/7 with very little sleep overall.

I was once listening to a podcast with Oprah and Arrianna huffington ( the founder of huffington post) and Arianna was saying that when HuffPost was getting off the ground she would work around the clock and sleep maybe only a few hours each night. She stated this was her biggest regret.  Once she started sleeping she started to make less mistakes and the overall quality kept rising. So don’t let the media fool you into thinking sleeping just a little is normal. It’s not good for you, for your brain or for your body in any way. 

Signs You’re Not Getting Enough Sleep

There are many signs to look for to know if you’re getting too much, too little, or just the right amount of sleep.

Let’s talk about signs of too little sleep because that’s what the vast majority of people experience in general.

First, do you find yourself falling asleep in strange places during the day? The car, the bus, the theatre, at work on your lunch break?  If so, you’re not getting enough sleep.

Do you feel groggy, irritated, do you have heavy eyes?  What about falling asleep easily while watching  TV?  When your body isn’t well rested, it’s constantly trying to catch up in any way possible.

Sleeping Too Much?

This is a very real concern especially for those who struggle with addiction.  Sleeping too much, especially in the middle of the day can lead to insomnia at night. But if you sleep too much your body isn’t moving or staying as active as it should be. You’re not burning off the calories and it becomes this never ending cycle. You sleep all day, you’re up all night because you slept all day and it goes on and on.

You will Feel the Benefits

Once you start taking your sleep seriously you’ll notice that when you get the right amount of sleep, you don’t become tired during the day. You will feel refreshed every morning and your overall sleeping patterns will be much smoother than when you weren’t sleeping enough. 

How Sleep Quality Can Affect Addiction Recovery 

The one thing to know when logging your sleep is that the number alone doesn’t mean you’re getting a good night’s sleep. Have you ever slept for 10 hours but felt tired and groggy because you were tossing and turning all night? The link between sleep and substance use disorders is high. According to one study, people who struggle with alcohol or drug addiction are more likely to develop a sleep disorder than someone who is not.

Sleep Cycles

The 5 stages of sleep-wake cycle are: non REM sleep, sleep, sleep, deep sleep and REM (Rapid Eye Movement.) This is the circadian rhythm your body relies on every 24 hours. Stage 3 and 4 is where all the work and benefits takes place. During the deep sleep stage, your body is repairing and recovering from all the days of stress. This includes REM sleep and also when the human growth hormone is released which is essential to keeping your body healthy and active. If you wake easily throughout the night you are experiencing broken sleep cycles. Every time you wake up, your body has to go through each stage over again. So someone who is getting 10 hours of sleep but is hardly getting to the deep sleep stage  is not the same as someone who is getting 5 hours of deep sleep and 4 of those hours are sleeping deeply. This is why it’s important to not just get the right amount of sleep but to make sure you are getting a high quality of sleep.

Benefits and Risks 

Sleeping too much and too little can cause an array of health problems. Ironically, sleeping too much or too little can both put you at higher risk for diabetes, heart disease, and stroke.

Additionally, when you sleep too much you are also at a higher risk for depression, sadness, and you might be feeling even more tired because your body isn’t getting enough physical activity when you sleep too much. It’s a vicious cycle.

The relationship between sleep and mood is strong. When you experience sleep deprivation, lack of sleep, or have poor sleep quality you may experience symptoms such anxiety, agitation, irritation and overall feeling pretty grumpy.

Both sleeping too much and too little puts you at risk for relapse. Why? Well, what do you do when you feel bad? You don’t make good decisions. The goal here is to help you realize how important your sleep is for your recovery so you can feel at your best. 

When you have a healthy sleep schedule you literally add years to your life. Longevity has been linked to good sleeping habits. If you combine good nutrition, fitness and sleep, your recovery and ability to beat your addiction for good is at a much higher chance than if you neglect your physical health in any way.

How to Get Better Sleep and Reduce Your Risk of Relapse

Until you’ve reached your sleep goal, you’ll want to keep a journal. There’s lots of things to journal.

I always like to start with talking about what step you can take today to start making progress. Now remember, this process is going to take some time so just be patient.

Now that you know what time you are going to bed, tonight I want you to aim to go to bed 15 minutes earlier.  The important thing though is to keep your wake up time the same, even on the weekends. 

For example, if you normally go to bed at 1am and wake up at 6am tonight – you will go to bed at 12:45am and wake up at 6am. 

Continue to do this every single week until you have established a time where you can reach your goal. For example, let’s say you have a goal of 8 hours (this is pretty normal and average) If you currently go to bed at 1am and wake up at 6am you’re only getting 5 hours of sleep every night. You need to start getting your body used to sleeping more so if you up your bedtime by 15 minutes per week it will take you about 12 weeks to hit the 8 hour mark. If you’re waking up at 6am every day you should have a bedtime around 10pm.  

How to get Better Sound Sleep

First thing to do: Set a sleep ritual or a bedtime routine. One to two hours before bedtime, start winding down and then you’ll want to take time every night to establish a routine right before bed. To start this can be as little as 15 minutes but like your bedtime you’ll want to increase this as the weeks go bye.  Ideally, bedtime rituals should be about an hour before bed. Include relaxation activities and limit your screen exposure before bedtime. Here’s some examples:

  • Create a reading nook and read on a non lit kindle or a book.
  • Do some yoga
  • Breathing exercises
  • Listen to some calming music
  • Meditate
  • Drink some non-caffeinated tea

Eliminating Sleep Disturbances 

If your quality of sleep is affected by waking up multiple times per night check your bedroom for sleep distractions. Perhaps you sleep better with white noise or in cooler temperatures (your body temperature rises while you sleep.) Pay attention to your light exposure. You may need to eliminate any bright light or blue light as well. 

Think of this as self-care. This is your team to create some calm and peace in your life that positively affects your circadian rhythm. After everything you’ve been through it’s important that you take some time for yourself. Not only will this help with your mental health but this will also help with your physical health and reduce the chances of relapse. You’ll start to have more energy and combine with fitness and nutrition your body is going to thank you. Be patient with yourself as you work through this. It takes time to get it right. 

Are sleep AIDS okay?  answer: no

A lot of people rely on sleep aids or sleeping pills to fall asleep. I do not recommend this. You are fighting a drug, alcohol or behavior addiction so it’s important to not trade one addiction for another. Sleep aids are often addictive substances as well.  If you’re addicted to sleeping pills it’s important to fight both addictions at once. If you do rely on sleep aids, start tapering yourself off now. At first, you’re going to have a really hard time sleeping but if you stick to a routine, establish good sleeping habits and a good ritual it won’t be long before your body will start to understand.

If you are thinking about taking sleep aids because you are having a hard time falling and staying asleep; don’t. The negative effects from this can be catastrophic and can cause even more sleep disruption later down the road. Follow this plan, stick with a good diet, and exercise regime and you will be able to obtain unassisted sleep naturally. I say this though but I do know there are healthy non-addictive natural sleep aids you can try if you really feel like you need to : melatonin for example. But use caution and always contact your doctor before doing so.

When to talk to your doctor

Sometimes no matter how much you try, getting the right amount of sleep seems impossible. There are medical conditions that cause people to sleep too much or cause insomnia as well as some medications may play a role. I recommend giving it 12 solid weeks of sticking to this sleep plan along with getting good exercise and eating healthy. If after 12 weeks you’re still struggling with your sleep or have insomnia then it’s important to call your doctor. There may be some sort of underlying medical condition such as sleep apnea or  brain disease, that you’re unaware of. Chronic (long-term) sleep difficulties need medical attention. 

Substance Abuse and Sleep Deprivation 

The relationship between substance abuse disorders and proper sleep is strong. Getting the right amount of restful sleep is crucial when in recovery from addiction and is where the healing process starts. People in recovery need to practice good sleep hygiene in order to be successful in the overall recovery process. The relationship between sleep and relapse among persons who struggle with addiction is strong especially when chronic sleep deprivation is involved. Keeping a sleep journal of your recovery journey and sleep habits is highly recommended.

Finding the Right Program

If you are struggling with a substance use disorder or any behavioral addiction, check out Live Rehab. Our online addiction recovery program allows you to obtain a full recovery on your terms. Traditional treatment programs may not be for everyone. Whether you struggle with alcohol addiction, substance abuse or any addictive behavior we know how important it is to get the help without having to leave to go to an expensive treatment center. Flexible treatment options are available.

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