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How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Addiction

August 16, 2017 By Denise Leave a Comment

Having kids can be especially painful when struggling with addiction. Nobody wants their kids to see them drunk or high. Nobody intends to emotionally hurt their children but it happens and kids will remember.

Ignoring the issue is not a good idea as your kids will feel like it’s not their place to ask questions or offer suggestions. They will be confused and scared so it’s better to tackle the topic head on.

Age Appropriate Conversations

Babies and toddlers may not understand addiction but they can certainly feel the difference between a sober parent and a non-sober parent. While the conversation may not be in words it’s important to not to parent your child if you are drunk or high. If you find yourself around alcohol or drugs you can start by pointing at the object and saying “icky” or make a sour face. For example, “Mommy isn’t going to drink this now because it’s icky.” Don’t let your little ones believe that you under the influence is the better parent.

As children get a little older you can certainly address the topic a little more in depth. For example, you can say, “I don’t want to drink beer but sometimes I can’t help it because I have an addiction. I am trying hard to stop.” This type of communication opens up the door for further conversation and answers the question the child was thinking in their head, ‘why does my daddy drink so much beer?’

Teenagers need to hear your explanations as well. By the time they are teenagers they know when you are drunk or high and they are probably experimenting with drugs and alcohol themselves. This is a good opportunity to open up to them about how hard it is to quit which might give them some valuable insight when they are facing decisions themselves.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, dependency, drug use, drugs, family, heavy user, planning to quit, recovery, sobriety, substance abuse, substance abuse treatment

Why You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom to Get Help

August 15, 2017 By Denise Leave a Comment

When you watch TV shows or talk shows about addiction, you will always see someone who is worse off than you. You know the age old saying about hitting rock bottom – basically implying that people don’t need professional help until they have lost everything in their life? That sort of mentality is dangerous. It’s dangerous because there are millions of people who know they are headed down a dangerous path but because of media and stigma, they don’t believe it’s bad enough to warrant help.

These are the people who have careers, families, friends, and an active social life. These are people who are really good at masking their daily struggles and can pull off hangovers and bad decisions.

If this is you, I want you to stop and think for a moment. Do you really want to lose everything? Because at some point, you will. Why not tackle your addiction before it gets the best of you, your family, and friends? There’s no shame in just stopping.

We live in an unfortunate world where reaching out for help can jeopardize a lot. While there are so many advocates who are trying to change this, and believe me, they are doing a fantastic job and making so much needed progress, the reality is, it’s still there. Most people don’t have the luxury of just taking 3 months off from work without losing their stride in their career, or having family or friends doubt or underestimate them.

It is a lot easier to obtain sobriety and stay sober when your answer to not drinking or doing is drugs is that you just don’t rather than stating you had a problem, you lost everything, and you have to work your butt off to get it all back.

Getting sober from home certainly does have some disadvantages but overall, it’s a great alternative for those who just can’t pick up and leave everything behind for 3 months. Or perhaps, not need to! There is not harm in trying this approach first.

3 Reasons to Get Sober from Home

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: addict, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, chemical dependency, counselor, dependency, drug abuse, drug use, drugs, heavy user, planning to quit, recovery, rehab, sobriety, substance abuse, substance abuse treatment, substance use, treatment plan

What is a crisis?

April 14, 2015 By Denise Leave a Comment

A crisis is not about what is happening but rather how a person reacts to what is happening. Bad things happen all the time but not everyone reacts badly to every situation or our entire society would be in a constant state of crisis.

The only person that can have an opinion on whether or not they are in a crisis is that person who is experiencing it. Just because I may be okay with my grandmother passing away does not mean that my sister is okay with it. That’s her experience, not mine.

Think about substance abuse and addiction. Rock bottom is not the same for everyone either. We often hear the phrase, “They have to hit rock bottom in order for them to realize they need help.” Well, that may be true for some but not for all and at the same time, rock bottom can range from a personal revelation to being homeless on the street.

If you sit in a drug and alcohol group, you know the one where you are supposed to talk about your feelings in a circle; someone’s rock bottom will be the worst whereas someone else’s rock bottom won’t seem that bad in comparison. Does that mean that the person whose rock bottom isn’t that bad doesn’t deserve treatment? Absolutely not.

I once had a client who was in his mid-thirties, had two children, a great job, a nice house, and a really supportive wife. He was in a car accident and broke a few bones and he just did what the doctor told him to do and that was to take Oxycontin. A few months later, he realized he was taking more than prescribed, and found it hard to withdrawal. He mentioned that when he was out of his prescription he would lay around the house feeling miserable, not able to get out of bed. His son asked him to play ball one day and he couldn’t. That’s when he knew he needed help. He didn’t lose his job, he didn’t lose his marriage, kids, or house, but he felt that he was in a state of crisis knowing that he did not want to continue down that path. On the outside, his rock bottom didn’t seem so bad right? But in reality, to him, it really was.

I hope that you can remember this if you begin to experience a crisis or know someone who is experiencing a crisis. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions or make comparisons. We are all unique in every situation, crisis or not.

Filed Under: Blog, General, Products, Services Tagged With: action, addiction, counselor, crisis, dependency, drug use, drugs, environment, heavy user, motivation, planning to quit, problems, rock bottom, substance abuse, treatment plan

5 Tips for Loving someone who Struggles with an Addiction

February 16, 2015 By Denise Leave a Comment

When someone you love gets sucked into the whirlwind of an addiction it can create intense emotional struggles that can make things worse. You cannot help who you love and you can’t just stop loving someone because they’re going through an incredibly difficult time.  You can though open your heart and try to approach the situation using love and compassion.

5 Tips for Loving Someone who struggles with Addiction

  1. Stop living in the past
  2. Don’t mistake enabling for love
  3. Forgive them
  4. Believe in them
  5. Recognize their effort

Filed Under: Blog, General Tagged With: addiction, alcohol, and, blospot, dependency, family, heavy user, love, planning to quit, real, recovery, rehab, substance abuse treatment, treatment plan

Stages of Change

January 12, 2015 By Denise Leave a Comment

Happy Monday! This week’s topic is: Stages of Change

People who use drugs, alcohol, or struggle with any sort of addiction go through different stages. This is called stages of change. Where do you stand on this?

  1. Pre-contemplation – the stage where users do not even recognize that there is a problem.
  2. Contemplation – this is where the user starts to recognize that there may be a problem and is having thoughts about possibly making a change.
  3. Preparation –the stage where the user begins to prepare to change. Maybe they are thinking about setting a date  to quit.  https://www.liverehab.com/?p=1272
  4. Action –the user is actively participating in a program or has started to obtain sobriety. The user is on day one of sobriety or after.
  5. Maintenance –when sobriety has been achieved for some time and the user is working hard on maintaining their sobriety.
  6. Termination – when someone has obtained full sobriety and is confident that they can be in any situation at any time without the possibility of relapse.

Filed Under: Blog, General Tagged With: action, addiction, contemplation, dependency, disease model of addiction, drugs, heavy user, maintenance, planning to quit, pre-contemplation, preparation, recovery, sobriety, stages of change, substance abuse, termination

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