Live Rehab

Why You Need to Quit Smoking Too

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When I was a drug and alcohol counselor at a traditional rehab facility I was so perplexed at the high number of relapses and how many unsuccessful stories we were able to give.  Most of the time, people felt forced either by their friends or family or forced by drug court so it was no wonder they wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

But, so many other things were happening that I know deep down, could have been the magical answer to so many of their struggles.  Because, even though most people felt forced to be there, most people do not want to continue down a path of constant drug and alcohol use either.  

One of the things that was surprising to me was the fact that we allowed people to continue to smoke. While not all staff members agreed with this decision, they didn’t feel like they were in a place to make such a huge policy change either.  Working long hours mixed with low pay, by the end of the day most staff members just wanted to go home at the end of their work day.

But, to me, this part of the puzzle was so bothersome that I decided to do a little research.  

Here’s what I found:

People in recovery smoked MORE when given the chance so they were basically trading one substance for another as a way to cope.

This isn’t about the lesser of two evils here.  If you want a sober life then you need to make changes to fulfill that.  If you don’t quit smoking too you will not feel better.When you smoke more, you will feel worse.

This is like telling someone who is addicted to methamphetamine to go to rehab and drink alcohol instead.  No. Just no.

Also, nicotine has shown to activate triggers.  It’s no wonder.  If you’re addicted to alcohol, it’s likely you smoked and drank at the same time.  So every time you light up a cigarette you will think about smoking.

If you think you can obtain and maintain sobriety while still smoking cigarettes, I want you to think again.  If you struggle with nicotine addiction you can take my course for only $35.00.  I will give you everything you need to stop smoking forever.  You will get lifetime access to the course and also a downloadable, step-by-step workbook.  Follow this link to get to the course.

Why wait?  Start today.

 

When You Are A High Functioning Alcoholic

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High functioning alcoholics are hard to spot. They are the ones who have a job or career, take care of their outward appearances and from the outside, you would never know.

The psychological impacts of being a high functioning alcoholic

If you are a high functioning alcoholic you are hurting inside. You are torn about what to do. You know you can keep it together as long as you are drinking and the thought of stopping terrifies you. You know that if you stop you will feel depressed, experience physical withdraws and may act in a way that you will regret.

More often than not, high functioning alcoholics suffer from an undiagnosed mental health disorder such as depression or anxiety. Alcohol masks these symptoms and may be a way to cope. If you are a high functioning alcoholic I would reccommend talking to a mental health provider as soon as possible.

High functioning alcoholics and family

Often times, high functioning alcoholics are supported by their immediate family such as a spouse or a live in parent because high functioning alcoholics are easier to deal with when they are drinking. If you are a high functioning alcoholic, your family is likely to make sure your alcohol supply is always where it needs to be because dealing with a sober you or dealing with withdrawals causes drama. I would recommend taking a look and ask yourself why you think those closest to you are making sure you are taken care of. Do you think it’s fair for them to have to walk on egg shells?

High functioning alcoholics and finances

Being an alcoholic is costly. As tolerance builds the bank account starts to drain. High functioning alcoholics will always make sure their immediate financial needs are met (housing, etc.) to ensure that there are no embarrassing situations. But on the inside, debt is probably occurring and things like vacations and extras are put to the side. If you are a high functioning alcoholic, look at what you wish you could afford. Try to gradually taper off your alcoholic drinks and reward yourself by setting the money you saved aside. Use that money to reward yourself after you hit a certain goal. For example, instead of purchasing two bottles of wine tonight, try purchasing only one and put the extra money into a piggy bank of sorts. Once you reach your personal goal (example; $100.00) then reward yourself. Buy some new clothes or take your kids to a movie.

Why You Should Start Today

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If you are looking on the internet about ways to stop drinking alcohol or taking substances then you are more than likely past the stage of denial.  Or perhaps, you are you hoping to find reassurance that surely you don’t have a problem at all.  I’m here to tell you that if you have gotten to this stage, you do have a problem.  

You see, people who are not addicted do not question themselves or critique their own moves.  You don’t have to be a full on drug addict or alcoholic who is down in the dumps to know deep down there is a problem that is starting to brew.

Millions of people lie to themselves every single day or justify their actions somehow.  Have you heard these phrases?

“I can stop if I wanted to.”

“I don’t need to [insert drug or alcohol of choice] every night – I just want to.”

“I don’t drink every night so it’s not a problem.”

“I like the taste of [wine, alcohol, etc.]”

“I deserve to have a drink or two [or insert drug of choice.]”

People who say these things are only lying.  They are lying to themselves and they are lying to other people.  While it is true that not everyone who drinks alcohol or does drugs becomes an addict however, more people than you realize do.

You see, if it’s not a problem then most people wouldn’t do it to begin with.  Drinking alcohol and doing drugs is always a problem if it interferes with normal, everyday life.  If you cannot go on vacation or have a family gathering without being drunk or high, it’s a problem.  If you cannot relax at night with your family without it, it’s a problem.  It is pretty much always a problem if you are questioning it or if someone else is questioning your actions.

There is no need to wait.  Don’t lie to yourself any longer.  Reach out.  Get help.  Do whatever it takes so you can be in a place where you no longer crave alcohol or your drug of choice.  The path to sobriety is so much easier if you stop it earlier than later.  If  you don’t start the process today, tomorrow will be that much harder.  And next week.  And next month.  And next year.  It doesn’t get easier.

So what is the process?

The first step is acknowledgement.  I’m not here to force you into saying you are a drug addict or alcoholic because quite frankly, those negative associations only make people feel worse.  Instead, to acknowledge your behavior and the fact that you want to stop would be to tell yourself that you are ready to start a new journey – a healthier lifestyle.  

Once you acknowledge that you want to make a life change, come up with a plan on how you can achieve that success.  Who can you turn to for support?  Who can you convince to go on this journey with you?  Do you need rehab or can you get sober at home?

Come up with a script.  Everyone is going to want to know why you want to make this change.  What are you going to say?  Are you uncomfortable using the word alcoholic or drug addict?  You can say it’s for your health or you are just ready to move on.  Whatever you’re comfortable with, stick with that story and practice it because you will be asked often.

Find other sober people.  You can always start online and eventually you will find people in your community who are sober too.  

So why wait?  START TODAY!

What is a crisis?

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A crisis is not about what is happening but rather how a person reacts to what is happening. Bad things happen all the time but not everyone reacts badly to every situation or our entire society would be in a constant state of crisis.

The only person that can have an opinion on whether or not they are in a crisis is that person who is experiencing it. Just because I may be okay with my grandmother passing away does not mean that my sister is okay with it. That’s her experience, not mine.

Think about substance abuse and addiction. Rock bottom is not the same for everyone either. We often hear the phrase, “They have to hit rock bottom in order for them to realize they need help.” Well, that may be true for some but not for all and at the same time, rock bottom can range from a personal revelation to being homeless on the street.

If you sit in a drug and alcohol group, you know the one where you are supposed to talk about your feelings in a circle; someone’s rock bottom will be the worst whereas someone else’s rock bottom won’t seem that bad in comparison. Does that mean that the person whose rock bottom isn’t that bad doesn’t deserve treatment? Absolutely not.

I once had a client who was in his mid-thirties, had two children, a great job, a nice house, and a really supportive wife. He was in a car accident and broke a few bones and he just did what the doctor told him to do and that was to take Oxycontin. A few months later, he realized he was taking more than prescribed, and found it hard to withdrawal. He mentioned that when he was out of his prescription he would lay around the house feeling miserable, not able to get out of bed. His son asked him to play ball one day and he couldn’t. That’s when he knew he needed help. He didn’t lose his job, he didn’t lose his marriage, kids, or house, but he felt that he was in a state of crisis knowing that he did not want to continue down that path. On the outside, his rock bottom didn’t seem so bad right? But in reality, to him, it really was.

I hope that you can remember this if you begin to experience a crisis or know someone who is experiencing a crisis. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions or make comparisons. We are all unique in every situation, crisis or not.

Role Obligations – Take Responsibility Now

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We all have different roles in life and just because you’re in recovery does not mean that you are not responsible for fulfilling those roles. In fact, you should make it a part of your recovery. Take some time and think about what your roles are. For example, are you a mother, father, child, brother, sister, teacher, boss, employee, etc.?

Are you fulfilling your role obligations? Write down exactly who you are and what you need to do to be that person. Making relationships a top priority can really help you through this journey.

How to take action

You can start right now by thinking of 5 roles you play.  Some common examples are these:

Parent

Child

Brother/sister

Friend

Employee

Cousin

Caregiver

Pet owner

If you don’t have 5 roles right now it’s okay. Start with as many as you can think of.

Next, under each role, write exactly what you are responsible for doing.

Example:

Friend: being available, offering support, having fun

Now, write down 1-2 achievable actions that you can do to be sure that you are keeping your responsibility to that person.

Example:

Friend: being available, offering support, having fun

  • Call friend once per week
  • Schedule time together at least twice per month

Be specific when writing this down.

Last, take action.

Example:

I will call my friend every Wednesday morning at 10am.

We will make plans to go see a movie this Saturday.

Keep doing this will all of your roles. You will be surprised how busy you will be. This will open up doors you never knew were closed.

We’ve helped hundreds of people get sober from home.

Our students are:

– Happy
– Sober
– Clear Headed
– Free from the chains of addiction
– Motivated
– Energetic

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