We are going to start preparing to take action.

Like any addiction, you can’t just wake up one day and say I’m done.  It might work for a few days but a relapse is usually inevitable. The reason that so many people have success in my addiction courses is because I do not tell you to just stop.  This is why we reviewed the history and hopefully you gained some knowledge about the behind the scenes stuff that goes on as well as some perspective about your own self.

And this is also why we are coming up with a plan and not just winging it.  It takes time, preparation, and knowledge in order to kick an addiction. There are four more sections before you take action and each section is equally important.

This section, we are going to talk about changing routines, setting a quit date, diet, exercise, and sleep.  

Changing Routines

Let’s talk about why changing your routine is important. An addiction is like a habit. Remember when you logged your porn watching time? What did you notice about your routine?

For this section, I want you to write down your daily routine. Then, I want you to make note of the times of day you typically watch porn.

Is it in the morning before you go to work?

Is it when you get home from work or perhaps at night when everyone is sleeping? 

Maybe it’s all of those things. 

After you write your current schedule I want you to rewrite your daily schedule so that you are doing something before and during those times you typically watch porn. For example, if you currently watch porn right when you get home from work, try and do something else right when you get home. Maybe eat dinner earlier or take your dog for a long walk. Make it a habit and stick with it.

If your new schedule starts to not work, redo it again and again and again while finishing this guide. 

Do not get complacent with this task. Some people find that redoing their schedule is really helpful while some people need to re-evaluate every few days. And if that’s you then that’s okay too.

Having new routines is always good for the mind!

This is my favorite section and I hope it will be yours too!

The reason this is my favorite chapter is because I’m really excited that you’ve put all the work in and now you can look forward to the day you will be porn free. Setting a quit date is really important. If there are people in your life that know about your addiction it’s important for them to know the day you are quitting so not only are you holding yourself accountable but others can hold you accountable too.

I recommend giving it about a week from today when setting your date. This is because there are three more sections after this one where we will be talking about diet, exercise and sleep. You’ll need to know this information before your quit date because it does take a little planning when focusing on these other core aspects. For example, we’ll be talking about how to get better sleep and how much you should be sleeping each night. You’ll want to know that before quitting so that on your quit date you will be getting the full experience of changing your whole life, not just quitting porn.

Also, by giving it a week, it gives you an opportunity to taper down. If you don’t taper, you’ll be quitting cold turkey which is fine but you’ll have better success if you at least try and watch less and less each day. Quitting porn won’t be as difficult.

So go ahead and pick a date and write it down. If you can tell someone then great! If not, just know that’s the day where your whole life is going to change. 

Nutrition, Exercise, and Sleep

This is a brief section about why nutrition, exercise, and sleep is critical to your success in this guide.

Your diet plays a role in how you feel every day regardless of any addiction. Those who overeat, undereat, eat too much sugar, too many processed foods, too much soda, will not be performing at their peak. I want you to perform at your peak so that you can fully recover from your addiction.

If you stop porn but eat crappy food then you’ll still have brain fog and lethargy. Your body will convince you that quitting porn is not helping your mental state.

When it comes to exercise, your body needs to move and this is really important for improving your sexual abilities as well, especially if you suffer from erectile dysfunction disorder or female sexual dysfunction. You need to get the blood flowing through your veins and combined with a good diet you are going to notice a significant lifestyle change.

And last, sleep. Sleep is when your brain repairs itself and without sleep you’ll experience much of what we just talked about: lethargy, brain fog, and so on. These three concepts are crucial to your recovery and that’s why I have an entire chapters dedicated to each. Even if you feel you eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep, please don’t skip any part of this guide.

Extra Resources and Readings

• Article:  Changing the Habit of Porn Addiction 

Nutrition

How Sugar Affects the Brain

Remember in part one of the guide when we talked about the negative effects porn has on your brain and we talked about dopamine being the reward system? Sugar works in the exact same way.

I am telling you that it’s important for you to quit sugar while you are quitting porn for a very good reason.

When you quit porn, your brain is going to be looking for ways to increase your dopamine levels because your dopamine levels will be very low, at first. Many people who quit porn turn to sugar because it makes them feel good and activates the dopamine receptors. The problem with this is that you are literally trading one addiction for another. 

When you quit porn, I want you to eventually be able to find pleasure in good for you activities.  By getting rid of all of the baggage so to speak, like sugar, junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, porn, etc. your brain will start repairing itself so fast you’ll be amazed that in just a short amount of time you’ll be free from it all and the best part is, you’ll find pleasure in ways you never thought possible.  

You’ll have better relationships, be a better student, be more productive at work and the list goes on and on.

While you may think sugar is such a small point to discuss, it’s actually rather large and powerful. 

Start as soon as possible.  Cut out those sugar drinks like soda and juice, start reading labels, and do not buy the sugar junk food: donuts, pies, cookies, etc.  

Eating the Right Foods

Portion Control

This is our last topic in the nutrition section. Let’s talk about portion control.

Since nutrition plays a significant role in the recovery process it’s important to understand that eating the right foods is only part of it. The other part is eating the right amount of food.

I’m not big on counting calories. If you are overweight, you’ll want to try and eat a little less. If you are underweight, you’ll want to try and eat a little more. If you are the right weight, you’ll want to try and maintain where you are at. So check your BMI just to be sure you know exactly where you fall. You can find the BMI calculator online.

There are reasons that weight and portion control are topics in this porn addiction. First, when you are knee deep into your addiction, it is likely you are not thinking about making good food choices. Some people watch so much porn they forget to eat and others overcompensate with food when they are not watching porn which is why some of you may be overweight and some of you may be underweight. But the number really isn’t the important thing. While it is important to know where you are at, the most important thing is changing your lifestyle.

When you are eating, focus on how much you are eating in each setting. You will know, without having to count calories, whether or not you are eating too much. If you are overweight then try a nutrition plan or reducing the amount of food you eat in each setting.

A typical diet consists of breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack or two. What you don’t want to do is snack all day and skip a meal. You also don’t want to skip meals like breakfast or lunch only to gorge at dinner. A steady balance is optimal.

If you want a challenge, do some research on intermittent fasting. There’s a lot of research on the health benefits of doing small fasts each day or one day fasts a couple times per week. I posted an article about it if you want to learn more. 

Extra Resources and Readings

Video: How sugar affects the brain - Nicole Avena

Article: The 4-week fat-burning meal plan

Article: NIH Healthy Eating Plan

Article: Dr. Mercola's Nutrition Plan

Article: 28 DAYS TO LEAN MEAL PLAN

Article: 5 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever: What to Eat

Article: Intermittent Fasting 101 - The Ultimate Beginner's Guide

Article: Eat This Much

Exercise

In this section we are going to talk about the importance of keeping your body physically active. If you can make changes in all areas of your life, your recovery will be that much easier. Exercise helps addiction and I’m here to help you find the right program or plan. 

How Exercise Helps Addiction

There are some incredible health benefits for anyone who struggles with any addiction which are peer-reviewed and part of research findings. Here are the general benefits of exercising during recovery and beyond:

• Provides Pleasurable States
• Provides Positive Alternatives 
• Exercise can also serve as a healthy, positive means of filling unstructured time
• Reduces Depressive Symptoms and Negative Mood
• Both aerobic and strength training exercise programs during the course of alcohol treatment have resulted in decreased depressive and anxiety symptoms
• Decreases Stress Reactivity and Improve Coping
• Exercise can serve to reduce stress reactivity and to supplant drinking as a primary coping mechanism
• Increases Self-Efficacy
• Enhancing one's self-efficacy is likely to result in positive behavior change.
• Decreases urges to drink
• Moderate-intensity exercise may provide short-term relief from urges to drink alcohol

All these findings (plus more details if you want to view the scientific details can be found via the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health website.

In this section we are going to talk about Erectile Dysfunction Disorder and Female Sexual Dysfunction.  Even if you don’t suffer from Erectile Dysfunction Disorder or Female Sexual Dysfunction it’s important to understand it because it’s so common.  

Erectile Dysfunction Disorder

Erectile dysfunction disorder, EDD, is when a man cannot get an erection or cannot get an erection hard enough to have sex. There are lots of reasons for which this can take place and those reasons are broken up into two categories: medical and psychosocial influences. Physically, if there are underlying health issues that affect the arteries or nerves the result can be EDD.  In the next section, I will talk to you about the importance of getting a physical check-up to rule out any underlying physical issues.

EDD can also be a psychosocial response and  we will also talk about mental health a little later.  It’s critical to know that EDD is not always either or.  Sometimes it can be both; physical and psychosocial. For example, someone could suffer from heart disease and anxiety.  

When it comes to porn,  EDD is likely the cause of the viewing of porn.  Remember when we talked about the dopamine response?  

Many porn viewers start off watching basic porn and then when that becomes boring they look for more interesting or exciting things porn videos (fetishes, etc.)  It’s a cycle that is constantly trying to one-up, similar to a drug or alcohol tolerance. When this happens, the porn viewing ends up be so far from reality that when real sex comes around, there’s absolutely no comparison between the two.  Real sex is boring - at least that’s what your brain is telling you. This is a psycho-social response and is why it becomes difficult to get and maintain an erection. 

The good news is, is that EDD is completely treatable.  First, you’ll want to see if quitting porn gives you good results, while ruling out physical and mental health struggles.  If quitting porn doesn’t solve your EDD, then you can talk about treatment with your doctor.

Female Sexual Dysfunction is different than EDD.  Female Sexual Dysfunction is lack of interest in sex and/or when a woman is unable to reach an orgasm.  A woman doesn’t need an erection in order to have sexual intercourse like men do so oftentimes women find themselves hiding or trying to cover up their symptoms due to embarrassment or not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings.  

Similar to erectile dysfunction disorder though, there are two categories that can cause female sexual dysfunction: physical and/or emotional.  Notice how I say and/or because oftentimes it can be both.

From a physical sense, oftentimes it can be hormone related especially if the woman just had a baby or is pregnant.  However, there could be other physical causes like undiagnosed health related issues and in the next section I will be talking about the importance of seeing a doctor to rule out anything medical related.

From an emotional or psychosocial perspective, if a woman suffers from any mental health related problems or past trauma perhaps then, this can be a cause and will need to be treated.

A likely cause of female sexual dysfunction, if you are a woman addicted to porn, is the porn addiction itself. Once you stop viewing porn, your sexual performance and desires should improve.  However, it’s important to work through this guide to understand the importance of getting your physical and mental health checked out as you progress through the guide. 

Extra Resources and Readings

• Article: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction: How does it happen?

Underlying Health Problems

The Physical Body

We talked about erectile dysfunction disorder and female sexual dysfunction.  Even if you do not experience either of these, it’s important that you continue with this part of the book.  Your physical health plays a major role in how well and fast you can enter a fully recovered state.

I was working with a client once who had a sexual addiction. He was abstaining from sex and it had been a few weeks but he stated that he didn’t understand what was going on because he felt so tired and lethargic.  In the past, when he was tired or feeling sort of just bummed he would masturbate or watch porn because it would perk him up and make him feel good - remember the lecture about the dopamine? It makes sense right?  Well I ended up having him go to his general practitioner, GP, and they did a basic check up with some blood work and it turns out that he had an autoimmune disease. It got me thinking about how many other people who struggle in recovery may have an undiagnosed physical condition that is causing their lack of motivation or ability to feel okay.  Maybe there’s a thyroid issue or hormone problem. 

Taking care of your body starts with understanding your baseline and ruling out health conditions.

Getting a Physical Check-up - Make the Appointment Now

Extra Resources and Readings

Article: Annual Physical Examinations

Mental Health

This section is about mental health.  We’ll talk about whether or not you’ll need to see a mental health professional and the different types of professionals.

Mental Health and Porn Addiction

Think of your porn addiction in the same way.  Do you have a mental health diagnosis or suspect you may have a mental health disorder?  Do you turn to porn to escape something else that may be going on? Or, do you think you may have a mental health disorder that is caused by watching too much porn?  Not everyone knows what came first but it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that if you struggle with anything mental health related, your addiction to porn will never be cured if you do not treat your mental health at the same time.

This guide is here to treat and cure your porn addiction.

It is not designed to diagnose and treat anything else so if you are struggling with depression, anxiety,  a mood disorder, etc.

It is possible that those symptoms will go away after your porn addiction is treated but that’s not always the case. If you have something else going on, you will always be looking for ways to self medicate.  You know yourself more than anyone and it’s up to you on whether or not you see a mental health professional.

I will have many readers who will be able to break free from their addiction by reading this guide but some may need a mental health professional to help them as well, at the same time.  If you are unsure, what I suggest you do is get through the first 30 days and see how you feel. If you feel significant improvement then great! If not, there may be something else, other than an addiction to porn going on and it would be critical at that point to make the appointment.