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When You Are A High Functioning Alcoholic

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High functioning alcoholics are hard to spot. They are the ones who have a job or career, take care of their outward appearances and from the outside, you would never know.

The psychological impacts of being a high functioning alcoholic

If you are a high functioning alcoholic you are hurting inside. You are torn about what to do. You know you can keep it together as long as you are drinking and the thought of stopping terrifies you. You know that if you stop you will feel depressed, experience physical withdraws and may act in a way that you will regret.

More often than not, high functioning alcoholics suffer from an undiagnosed mental health disorder such as depression or anxiety. Alcohol masks these symptoms and may be a way to cope. If you are a high functioning alcoholic I would reccommend talking to a mental health provider as soon as possible.

High functioning alcoholics and family

Often times, high functioning alcoholics are supported by their immediate family such as a spouse or a live in parent because high functioning alcoholics are easier to deal with when they are drinking. If you are a high functioning alcoholic, your family is likely to make sure your alcohol supply is always where it needs to be because dealing with a sober you or dealing with withdrawals causes drama. I would recommend taking a look and ask yourself why you think those closest to you are making sure you are taken care of. Do you think it’s fair for them to have to walk on egg shells?

High functioning alcoholics and finances

Being an alcoholic is costly. As tolerance builds the bank account starts to drain. High functioning alcoholics will always make sure their immediate financial needs are met (housing, etc.) to ensure that there are no embarrassing situations. But on the inside, debt is probably occurring and things like vacations and extras are put to the side. If you are a high functioning alcoholic, look at what you wish you could afford. Try to gradually taper off your alcoholic drinks and reward yourself by setting the money you saved aside. Use that money to reward yourself after you hit a certain goal. For example, instead of purchasing two bottles of wine tonight, try purchasing only one and put the extra money into a piggy bank of sorts. Once you reach your personal goal (example; $100.00) then reward yourself. Buy some new clothes or take your kids to a movie.

Why You Should Start Today

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If you are looking on the internet about ways to stop drinking alcohol or taking substances then you are more than likely past the stage of denial.  Or perhaps, you are you hoping to find reassurance that surely you don’t have a problem at all.  I’m here to tell you that if you have gotten to this stage, you do have a problem.  

You see, people who are not addicted do not question themselves or critique their own moves.  You don’t have to be a full on drug addict or alcoholic who is down in the dumps to know deep down there is a problem that is starting to brew.

Millions of people lie to themselves every single day or justify their actions somehow.  Have you heard these phrases?

“I can stop if I wanted to.”

“I don’t need to [insert drug or alcohol of choice] every night – I just want to.”

“I don’t drink every night so it’s not a problem.”

“I like the taste of [wine, alcohol, etc.]”

“I deserve to have a drink or two [or insert drug of choice.]”

People who say these things are only lying.  They are lying to themselves and they are lying to other people.  While it is true that not everyone who drinks alcohol or does drugs becomes an addict however, more people than you realize do.

You see, if it’s not a problem then most people wouldn’t do it to begin with.  Drinking alcohol and doing drugs is always a problem if it interferes with normal, everyday life.  If you cannot go on vacation or have a family gathering without being drunk or high, it’s a problem.  If you cannot relax at night with your family without it, it’s a problem.  It is pretty much always a problem if you are questioning it or if someone else is questioning your actions.

There is no need to wait.  Don’t lie to yourself any longer.  Reach out.  Get help.  Do whatever it takes so you can be in a place where you no longer crave alcohol or your drug of choice.  The path to sobriety is so much easier if you stop it earlier than later.  If  you don’t start the process today, tomorrow will be that much harder.  And next week.  And next month.  And next year.  It doesn’t get easier.

So what is the process?

The first step is acknowledgement.  I’m not here to force you into saying you are a drug addict or alcoholic because quite frankly, those negative associations only make people feel worse.  Instead, to acknowledge your behavior and the fact that you want to stop would be to tell yourself that you are ready to start a new journey – a healthier lifestyle.  

Once you acknowledge that you want to make a life change, come up with a plan on how you can achieve that success.  Who can you turn to for support?  Who can you convince to go on this journey with you?  Do you need rehab or can you get sober at home?

Come up with a script.  Everyone is going to want to know why you want to make this change.  What are you going to say?  Are you uncomfortable using the word alcoholic or drug addict?  You can say it’s for your health or you are just ready to move on.  Whatever you’re comfortable with, stick with that story and practice it because you will be asked often.

Find other sober people.  You can always start online and eventually you will find people in your community who are sober too.  

So why wait?  START TODAY!

How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Addiction

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Having kids can be especially painful when struggling with addiction. Nobody wants their kids to see them drunk or high. Nobody intends to emotionally hurt their children but it happens and kids will remember.

Ignoring the issue is not a good idea as your kids will feel like it’s not their place to ask questions or offer suggestions. They will be confused and scared so it’s better to tackle the topic head on.

Age Appropriate Conversations

Babies and toddlers may not understand addiction but they can certainly feel the difference between a sober parent and a non-sober parent. While the conversation may not be in words it’s important to not to parent your child if you are drunk or high. If you find yourself around alcohol or drugs you can start by pointing at the object and saying “icky” or make a sour face. For example, “Mommy isn’t going to drink this now because it’s icky.” Don’t let your little ones believe that you under the influence is the better parent.

As children get a little older you can certainly address the topic a little more in depth. For example, you can say, “I don’t want to drink beer but sometimes I can’t help it because I have an addiction. I am trying hard to stop.” This type of communication opens up the door for further conversation and answers the question the child was thinking in their head, ‘why does my daddy drink so much beer?’

Teenagers need to hear your explanations as well. By the time they are teenagers they know when you are drunk or high and they are probably experimenting with drugs and alcohol themselves. This is a good opportunity to open up to them about how hard it is to quit which might give them some valuable insight when they are facing decisions themselves.

Why You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom to Get Help

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When you watch TV shows or talk shows about addiction, you will always see someone who is worse off than you. You know the age old saying about hitting rock bottom – basically implying that people don’t need professional help until they have lost everything in their life? That sort of mentality is dangerous. It’s dangerous because there are millions of people who know they are headed down a dangerous path but because of media and stigma, they don’t believe it’s bad enough to warrant help.

These are the people who have careers, families, friends, and an active social life. These are people who are really good at masking their daily struggles and can pull off hangovers and bad decisions.

If this is you, I want you to stop and think for a moment. Do you really want to lose everything? Because at some point, you will. Why not tackle your addiction before it gets the best of you, your family, and friends? There’s no shame in just stopping.

We live in an unfortunate world where reaching out for help can jeopardize a lot. While there are so many advocates who are trying to change this, and believe me, they are doing a fantastic job and making so much needed progress, the reality is, it’s still there. Most people don’t have the luxury of just taking 3 months off from work without losing their stride in their career, or having family or friends doubt or underestimate them.

It is a lot easier to obtain sobriety and stay sober when your answer to not drinking or doing is drugs is that you just don’t rather than stating you had a problem, you lost everything, and you have to work your butt off to get it all back.

Getting sober from home certainly does have some disadvantages but overall, it’s a great alternative for those who just can’t pick up and leave everything behind for 3 months. Or perhaps, not need to! There is not harm in trying this approach first.

3 Reasons to Get Sober from Home

No Shaming – It Doesn’t Help!

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Feelings of Shame

Addiction is such a complex topic. Nobody wants to be addicted to drugs and alcohol. Addiction seems to creep up and oftentimes, the person is wondering how they ended up in the situation to begin with. Feelings of shame are common during the cycle of addiction.

When someone you love and care about has an addiction it can be hard to stay calm and encouraging. I don’t believe family or friends should be subjected the abuse that addicts sometimes unintentionally force upon them but remember this: two wrongs, don’t make a right. Addiction doesn’t make someone a bad person.

Recovery From Addiction and the Impact of Shame

If you really want to help someone who is addicted, it’s important to be their rock and know when to walk away. There’s so much gray area but one thing that should never ever happen, is the belief that shaming someone will only help. People who are addicted to drugs and alcohol will not take shaming well and more often than not, feeling shame leads to a path of self destruction.

So what can you do if you find yourself spouting off shameful insults to someone who is struggling with active addiction?

Here are some tips:

  1. Understand it’s not about you
  2. Show true compassion and empathy
  3. Don’t take it personally – people say and do horrible things when they are not in the right frame of mind.
  4. Take care of yourself first – make sure you have the energy to stay calm
  5. Know when to walk away. Walking away is far better than resorting to shame

People with an alcohol addiction or drug addiction will often experience various levels of shame. For some people the shame is acute and short lasting. For others, their shame feeds addiction over a much longer timeframe. This is why it is incredibly important to understand the role you play in helping them to recover.

Does shaming impact relapse rates?

It’s hard to know whether or not toxic shame has a real impact to relapse rates for people dealing with addiction. However, it isn’t too hard to see the connection between someone who has had feelings of toxic shame and the impact on their mental health. Negative self-talk is often prevalent in those trying to get sober and shaming someone would be the wrong approach if your plan is to support them wholly.

While the likelihood of relapse in general is quite high for those dealing with substance abuse disorders or behavioral addictions, when someone has applied the right approaches to their physical health and mental health they are much more likely to be successful. The Sobriety Success Method is our approach and comes highly recommended from those who use it. Access to resources or programs such as ours shuold not be a barrier to recovery and the explosion of the internet has enabled people to get the support they need anywhere they need it.

According to the Association for Psychological Science:

Feeling shame about past instances of problem drinking may increase the likelihood of relapse and other health problems, according to a new study in Clinical Psychological Science , a journal of the Association for Psychological Science The study, conducted by researchers from the University of British Columbia, shows that behavioral displays of shame strongly predicted whether recovering alcoholics would relapse in the future.

Ask whatever treatment provider you are working with what their thoughts are or how the influence of shame affects the health outcome of those who are addicted.

If you need help overcoming any kind of addiction, Live Rehab is here to help. We’ve got online recovery programs to suit any budget.

We’ve helped hundreds of people get sober from home.

Our students are:

– Happy
– Sober
– Clear Headed
– Free from the chains of addiction
– Motivated
– Energetic

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